Old People

I don't like old people. 

They walk slow, drive slow, talk slow, think slow, and are always trying to lecture you.

But, you have to respect them because they are old and have lived a life longer than yours, right? WRONG!

If you're going to give the elderly respect, give it to them for the right reasons. I respect old people who just don't care anymore. They don't care who they offend or what people think of them. The ones who talk crap about the people sitting next to you in a restaurant with no effort of trying to lower their voice.

Now, this doesn't mean I like old people, I just respect the ones with that type of attitude. Plus, more likely than not the old folks with that attitude are pretty damn funny.

I understand one day I will be an old person (maybe. I think I'll die before then), but this undeniable fact will not sway me. No one wants to be an old person. Who wants to have no control of their bowel movements? Who wants to be treated like a child when they are old enough to see their children's children have children? I sure as hell don't.

If, by some miracle, I manage to make it to my eighties, I will shoot myself in the face.

I guess that's a little much. I'll just do what the grandpa in "Little Miss Sunshine" did.