Butt Sweat

I was trying to close a window at work that had become stuck, somehow. By the time I finally unstuck the window and was able to close it, I had exerted a nice amount of energy. This is when I noticed something unusual. I wasn't sweating anywhere but my butt.

I was kind of worried that maybe I had exerted too much energy and a little bit of feces came out. I didn't smell any crap, though. Either way, I had to play it safe. I went to the restroom and successfully confirmed that it was, indeed, sweat and not feces. I was happy I had not soiled myself, but still bothered that the only place I sweat was my butt.

How is this possible? Was I clenching my butt cheeks together so hard that it created the right atmosphere for "The Perfect Butt Sweat"?

Forget the other questions. Why DOES your butt sweat? I don't think my cheeks need lubrication. When my butt cheeks are dry, they don't chafe when I walk. The only use lubrication could provide is to assist with crapping. It'll help the poop slide right out, or, on the other hand, help stuff slide right in. It all depends your preferences. Some people like stuff up their butt.

Anyway, I see no need for butt sweat.  I might even prefer extra ball sweat instead of butt sweat.  Nevermind, I don't want my junk to stink.

Dogs don't sweat at all. I wouldn't mind panting for awhile to keep my butt from sweating.

On second thought, that would suck. Everyone would know that your butt was hot if you started panting. At least now, your butt sweats in private.

Maybe, one day, humans will evolve past butt sweating, but until then we just have to deal with it.

Hell, my butt is sweating as I type this last sentence. And also this fragmented sentence.