Mountain Dew Story

This is an old story. An Oldie but a Goodie.

When I was in college there was a girl in my Physics class I thought was cute, so I asked her if she wanted to study sometime. She agreed and we decided to meet the next day.

The next day I was pretty tired, so before we met I bought a Mountain Dew. We started studying and I started drinking the Mountain Dew. At this time in my life I did not drink a lot of caffeine, and I could actually feel myself becoming more hyperactive. I thought this was pretty amazing, so I shared it with the girl.

"This Mountain Dew is like crack. I can feel myself getting more hyper. They should not be selling crack to kids", I said. Her response was a smile. I continued to talk about the Mountain Dew, probably, for about five more minutes.

A little later I had to go to the restroom. So, I told her, "I have to take a piss. I'll be right back". While I was relieving myself I thought of something that would be very funny to tell her when I got back. The biggest, and only, problem was that I might be the only one who thought it was funny, and there was a good chance she might get offended. I thought about it, then decided that it was too funny not to say.

I got back to the table where we were studying, sat down and said, "You'll never believe what just happened."
"What?", she said, clearly interested.
Happy to see I had her complete attention, I said, "I could have sworn I heard my penis say something to me." Her first, split second reaction, was as if I had actually taken my penis out and started wagging it around.

After getting her face under control, she said, "What?"
"I could have sworn I heard my penis say," then in my loudest whisper voice, "Do The Dew". Once she realized that it was, in fact, a joke, and not just a scary brown guy whose penis talks to him, she started to to laugh.

I think she would have laughed more had I not traumatized her with my penis talk.