Hey Joey Question(1)

I've received about .4 questions. That's right, not even one full question. Anyway, there was someone willing to participate. Here is the question:

"Hey Joey,

I have a huge problem! I just lost my job and was forced to move in with my parents, which is hardly the problem. The problem is that I have two beautiful pets, a Golden Retriever named Dolly and a tabby named Parton, which, my parents hate with a passion. They agreed to let them stay there but refuse to help with them at all.

To top it off, my cute little Parton has just been diagnosed with cat leukemia and and I can barely afford to feed Dolly's big appetite. How can I pay for Parton's medicine and Dolly's food without my parents help?

Animal Lover, Texas"

Well, I can tell you the obvious. Get a job. Get off your, lazy, animal loving ass and get job.

If you're having a tough time finding a job, a problem I know all about, I have another solution. Cats diagnosed with leukemia generally don't live much longer, even with the expensive medicine. It also costs a pretty penny to put an animal to sleep. So, here is what you can do.

I want you fill your tub with water, then get your cat and drown it. You might want to wear some gloves because little Parton will scratch. It shouldn't take that long to drown him/her. Once Parton has successfully been drowned, take its body and put it in a large pot, which already has boiling water in it. The boiling water makes it very easy to remove the fur. You need to remove the fur because you are going to cook Parton. The reason you're cooking Parton is so you can feed it to Dolly.

You will save money by not paying for medicine or euthanasia and by not having to use any dog food for a couple of days. This solves your problem and your half of your parents problem.

Damn, I'm so smart.