Bump On My Testicle Story

When I was nineteen, I found a bump on my testicle. It was my left one, to be exact. I was a little freaked out. I told my mom, who is a nurse, because I wasn’t sure if I should see a doctor. She said to make a doctor appointment and, thankfully, did not ask to exam my testicle herself.

When I was in the waiting room at the doctor’s office I was dreading what was about to happen. I would have to tell the doctor I have a bump on my left ball and he would have to grab it. At nineteen, I had barely had one girl grab my balls. Imagine the awkwardness I felt that a fifty year old man was about to grab my ball.

I was sitting inside the exam room and the doctor came in and sat down. We did the normal pleasantries. He asked me how I was doing and all that jazz. He then got to the point.

“So, why are you here?” he asked.
“Well, I have a bump on my testicle” I responded.
“Okay”, he stood up, ”Pull down your pants and I’ll take a look.”

As I started to pull my pants down, I died a little on the inside. I felt cheap and used. Once I got my pants down and stood up straight, I could feel my junk dangling and a slight breeze. Maybe the air condition was on.

“Which one is it?” the doctor asked.
“The left one” I said, trying not to make eye contact. He reached down and felt it for a few seconds. He looked at me and said, “I don’t feel anything”.
“What?” I said, a little shocked. I know I felt a bump. I didn’t imagine it. “Are you sure?”
“You want me to look again?” the doctor asked.
“Yeah, I know I felt a bump” I said with full confidence. He checked again.
“I don’t feel anything,” he said again.
“Really?” I started feeling my ball in front of him. I found what I thought was the bump and said, “Try again. It’s right here”. He gave me a look that I didn’t really understand and he tried again.
“I feel what you’re talking about. That isn’t a bump,” he said.

I asked him what it was and he gave me a clear explanation. To this day, I do not remember what he told me because, during his explanation, I had realized what I had done. I had insisted that he grab my testicle more than he should have. That was what the look he gave me meant. The look said, ”Really? You want me to grab your ball again?”

I left with an unbearable feeling of embarrassment. I was so sure there was a bump on my testicle that it blinded me. I didn’t see how I was forcing the doctor to repeatedly touch my testicle, something that he probably wasn’t comfortable with either.

Oh well, it’s a funny story.