Cartoon Bologna

I happened to see a cartoon the other day where a boy and a girl switched bodies.

The boy and the girl were in high school.

There wasn't one time where the boy in the girl's body checked out what he had.

That is the shit of bulls.

If any high school boy switched bodies with a girl, he would make sure to examine every inch of it. He would check out the boobs, check out the vaginal area, and would probably try to get his girl body off.

The girl in the boy's body would also check out her newly acquired junk. She would probably flick or slap the penis and be surprised how contact that minimal can arouse the one-eyed snake.

I, personally, would be all up in my new vagina. All up in it. It would look something like this.

Other People's Secrets (2)

A friend told me he masturbated in his car while driving to work.

What a weirdo.

Why doesn't he masturbate in church like everyone else?

Caylee Marie Anthony

I'm sure everyone has heard of this little girl who went missing a while back and who has now been found.

I keep hearing how shocked people are that she was found with duct tape over her mouth with a sticker on the duct tape. Why make a big deal about the duct tape? She was murdered. Cut up into pieces and put in a bag. That seems slightly more disturbing than the duct tape.

This also reminds me of how all other races, besides white people, are ignored when it come to missing people. Anybody remember Natalee Holloway?










Of course you do. It was all over news for about ten years. You never see a black, brown, yellow, red, green or blue kid on tv that's gone missing. It's always a good-looking white kid. Kids get kidnapped and murdered all the time, but you never hear about it because they're not white or they are white and just plain ugly.

Chester Cheetah

Why did the Cheetos mascot become evil?

There was a commercial a long time ago where Chester encourages a girl to put Cheetos in someone's dryer so their clothes will be stained. Now, I just saw a commercial where a girl wipes her Cheetos stained hands on this stuck up lady's white shirt. It then cuts to Chester, who sitting on a bench, and he says, "Papa Chester is proud of you".

What the hell is going on?

Why are people being encouraged to do mean things?

First, it was the Carrie Underwood song "Before He Cheats". In the song she talks about keying her cheating boyfriends truck, breaking his headlights with a bat, and carving her name into his leather seats.

Cheating is bad, but acting like a psychotic bitch is worse.

Chester Cheetah has gone to the dark side, along with Carrie Underwood.

People should be nice to each other. I'm nice.

Whenever one of my friends is upset, I offer to take him to a strip club. Titty in the face makes any guy happy.

If a girl is upset, I do the gentlemanly thing and offer them oral sex. I would offer to sleep with them, but that would be weird.

I may be too nice for this world.

Joey Secret (6)

I own four pairs of man panties, also known as briefs.

White Converse Story

A while back, around the time when the U.S. went into Iraq, I went to Journey's to buy some white Converse. I had already decided on a white pair because everybody was wearing black ones. I try to be different.

In my head, the shoes were white with black pinstripes, but when I saw them I was surprised. They were white with the top pinstripe being red and the bottom pinstripe being blue. Red, white and blue. I didn't want to wear an American flag on my foot.

I decided to try them on anyway.

The guy brings out my size and I try them on. I'm looking at them, a little uncertain. The guys asks me if I like them and I say, "I don't know. They look too America for me."
He gives me an odd look, "You don't like America?"
Holy crap. Here’s a white guy hearing me, who looks like from India, saying it was too America. He probably thinks I’m a terrorist. So I quickly respond, “No, I love America. I fucking love it! I’ll take the shoes.”

As I was paying for the shoes I started to hum “God Bless America” and the guy started to hum along with me.

I bought my white converse to prove I wasn’t a terrorist.

Women

I am glad I am not a woman. So glad.

I would not want a bloody discharge pouring out of my body every month. I'd probably be in a bad mood too if I had to deal with that. It's nasty.

I would not want to be pregnant. You have to carry around a giant parasite for nine months. You eat because your parasite is hungry and you get the leftovers while it gets the nutrition.

I would not want to be raped. Yes, this happens to some men in prison. But, it happens to some women who are doing everyday stuff, like shopping or jogging. That sucks.

So, to all the ladies. I respect you.

But know your place or I'll put you in your place.

I'm kidding. Most women can beat me up. Please don't hit me in the face.

Mexicans On TV

They need to put more Mexicans on TV who don't have an accent. It seems like every Mexican I see on TV has just learned to speak English. Not only that, its always for commercials about cheap car insurance.

Why do they have to reinforce the stereotype that all Mexicans are poor and can't speak English?

Stereotypes suck.

I'm a coconut (brown on the outside, white on the inside). This doesn't mean I wish I was white, it means my personal culture is more American than Mexican. For example, I would prefer chicken noodle soup over menudo.

The only time I sound Mexican is when I say the word "caca" and I love to say the word "caca". So, maybe I am pretty Mexican.

I know I'm not the only coconut out there. They need to put more coconuts on TV.

Actually, they just need to put me on TV.

Blog News (2)

I've been lazy. Mostly bored. I have a bunch of ideas written down, just don't want to write.

Most of my ideas have to do with restroom stuff anyway. Don't know why.

Maybe because restrooms are where shit goes down, literally and figuratively.

I'll try and write some more for my three faithful readers.